Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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