I'm really into asian looking animals
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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