Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
