so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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