i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
