I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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