Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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