Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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