Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
