I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
