Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
