Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
