im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
