okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
