Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
