the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
