im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
