No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
