Im at strip club and am horny
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
