So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We need to get me chipped asap
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
