i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
