I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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