Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
