he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
bring money and cleavage
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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