weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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