Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
