I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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