its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I believe in your delicious
Terrible idea I love it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
