Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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