When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
