K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
don't judge my taste in strippers
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
