dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
