I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Those nachos came to me in a dream
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
