you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
