So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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