this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
