Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
