i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
