great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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