Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
