you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
