I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
