i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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