Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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