All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You're like the curious george of whores
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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