You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
