OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After last night, I could never be a politician.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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