The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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