Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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