Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
